"Just Clean My Teeth”: Navigating Pushback With Confidence and Care
You begin a conversation with a patient about their current oral health needs, rooted in their history, habits, and risk factors, and just as you start to make specific recommendations, you hear:
“Can you just clean my teeth?”
“I don’t want you to do the probing today.”
“You don’t need to go into all that… I’m fine.”
The wall goes up.
The energy shifts.
And suddenly, what should be a meaningful and motivating discussion becomes a very delicate interaction.
But here’s the good news:
These moments don’t need to stop you in your tracks or prevent you from delivering best-practice care.
With a pause, a breath, and a coaching mindset, you can approach these situations with curiosity instead of pressure, and continue the conversation with confidence and compassion.
Below are three simple strategies, paired with easy actions you can start using immediately.
1. Lead With Curiosity, Not Correction
When patients push back, whether about information, charting, or treatment recommendations, they’re not rejecting you.
They’re reacting to fear, overwhelm, time constraints, uncertainty, or past experiences.
Curiosity opens the door again.
Try These Easy Actions
Acknowledge their request:
“I hear you, getting right to your appointment needs today is important.”
Follow with a curious, open-ended question:
“Before we start, can you share what’s making you hesitant about the perio charting today?”
Normalize their feelings:
“A lot of people feel anxious or unsure during this part. You’re not alone.”
Ask permission to explain:
“Would it be alright if I shared why this step is so important in understanding your current treatment needs?”
Why It Works
You’re validating them, not fighting them.
That immediately lowers resistance and reopens the conversation.
2. Shift From Pressure to Partnership
When patients say, “Just clean my teeth,” they’re expressing a preference, not a health plan. That something you need to build together, each and every visit. We need to talk to patient about this. We can honour that preference while still guiding them toward what they truly need, and uncover why they may have resistance to specific areas of care.
Try These Easy Actions
Co-create the next step:
“Let’s find a way to make this efficient and comfortable while still giving you the best care.”
Connect the assessment to their goals:
“You mentioned wanting to avoid future issues, this portion of your appointment helps us assess disease activity so you don’t run into more involved issues later.”
Use supportive, not directive language:
Replace “We have to…” with
“This is part of understanding the health of your gums and teeth and helps us build your specific care plan.
Why It Works
Patients feel like you’re working with them, not overriding their wishes.
3. Make the Invisible Visible
Resistance often comes from not understanding the purpose behind what we’re doing.
Visuals turn abstract information into something concrete and meaningful.
Try These Easy Actions
Show them what you see:
“Here’s the area I’m concerned about this is why charting helps us measure changes over time.”
Use simple comparison visuals:
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Healthy vs. infection
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Last visit vs. today
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Use Imaging or photos when available
Ask a reflective question:
“Looking at this, what stands out to you?”
Why It Works
You shift the focus from “a task they don’t want” to “a tool that supports their health.”
Final Thoughts
Resistance doesn’t mean a patient doesn’t care.
Most often, it means they’re overwhelmed, unsure, embarrassed, or simply not ready for what they imagine will follow.
When we meet that resistance with curiosity, partnership, and clear visuals, we shift from “telling patients what they need” to helping them discover it for themselves. This is where trust is built, barriers soften, and meaningful oral health change begins.
These tough moments are not setbacks, they’re opportunities to guide, support, and elevate patient care.
* This post was inspired by a conversation I had with a group of RDHs earlier this week, a reminder that we’re all navigating these moments together. When we share experiences and build our communication skills, we strengthen both our confidence and our impact.